never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im holly from the hills drunk
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I intend to get homeless drunk
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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