you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
