aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
