The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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