i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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