What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize