I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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