Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
