HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
