Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize