it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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