are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
