he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
