I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
