Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
