Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
