do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
