when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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