We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
