She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
