Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize