And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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