I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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