She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
