This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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