I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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