So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
