can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
