Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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