idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
