these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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