just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize