Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
