I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
True strength comes from lack of pants
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
