i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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