Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
A bitchslap is in order.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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