CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
