i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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