And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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