I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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