there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
