Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
