don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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