I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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