Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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