I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Can I color on your dick again?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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