on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
