You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
