that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
