do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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