mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Actions speak louder than pants.
a search helicopter?!
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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