Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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