they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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