Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
