Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
