This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
