I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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