One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
