Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
