Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
