Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
