when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
