Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize