Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
