question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
