Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
