dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
