She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
