i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
