Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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