Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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