I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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