I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
