DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
