i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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