we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize