you guys were way drunker than both of me
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
