no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
