Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
