Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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